This is something I wrote a few years back while skipping out of work one day. Very relevant to the state of things at the time. This is a song to my wife.
LONG COLD WINTER
What’s the point of knowing, whether it’s clear or snowing outside? What the hell could I do, except to tell you that we’re doing just fine. Someone said it would be easy. Someone said it would be hard. Someone said we wouldn’t make it, but we’ve made it this far.
And it’s been a long cold winter, and it starts to take its toll. Her eyes are weary, as she’s shaking off the cold. Through all the fights, the shouts, the crying and the screams, she knows our love is what will get us through till spring.
Outside the snow is falling. I get the phone and I am calling you again. Just to say I miss you. Can’t wait to get off work and kiss you again, and whisper in your ear. Though the nights are getting longer, my love for you grows stronger. And I know we’ll make it through if we just hold on to each other.
And it’s been, a long cold winter, and it starts to take its toll. My eyes are weary, as I’m shaking off the cold. Through all the fights, the shouts, the crying and the screams, I know our love is what will get us through till spring.
A long cold winter, and it starts to take its toll. Our eyes are weary, as we’re shaking off the cold. Through all the fights, the shouts, the crying and the screams, I know our love is what will get us through till spring.
What’s they point of knowing, whether it’s clear or snowing outside? What the hell could I do, except to tell you that we are just fine?
The test of life, the test of time, and all of the roads that intertwine. The world against you, and you against the world, and the war seems like it is far from over. You struggle and you fall. You get the dirt of the ages underneath your fingernails and you feel as though it will never come clean again. Bent, but not broken.
You push on through thick and thin, through rough and choppy seas. The world against you, and just you against the world. You seek shelter in the most unlikely places, hoping to God for just one day of rest. One day where the fight doesn’t take all of you, and all of you doesn’t have to take on the fight. Bent, but not broken.
The time goes by and you feel aged, and worn. The years of “the fight”, the world against you, and you against the world, have made their marks in gray hairs, wrinkles, and aching bones. You have seen it all, and heard it all, and all of this time you have remained silent. Fighting your war, your way, the only way you know. Determined, and strong. Bent, but not broken.
As you look back on all the years lost, all the knowledge gained, and all the growth of self and mind, you smile. You see the past not as a failure, but as a struggle you have overcome. With a renewed spirit of hope, you stand once more. Aged and frail, you stand, your chest then swells with pride. A look up to the sky and a mighty yell, the battle cry to be heard across all time: “BENT BUT NOT BROKEN!!!”
One of the things I aimed to do with this blog as it grew was to post stories about my life to get some things off my shoulders, let some things out, and use it as a way to remember the past, then put it behind me. “Self Therapy” if you will. I want to be open and honest about my life, but there are things that I just feel do not belong at The DaddyYo Blog, as they have nothing to do with my life as a dad.
There is a part of my life that I am definitely not proud of, though I won’t deny it. There will probably be several posts along the way that chronicle this time in my life as I seek to visit it again, see where I have gone since then and what I have learned, and then put it behind me once again, for good. I have always found writing to be an outlet to share these times and to lay it all out in front of me, in black and white, and come face to face with the decisions I made. The good thing about it is that I can revisit, count my blessings of where I have gotten to, then I can file it away in the archive and move on. Read more…